Working with Friends and Family

Have you ever been told that you should not ever work with friends or family? I feel like that is a common belief. I think it has to do with putting either party in an awkward situation. If you ever had to make a tough decision about something it could put your relationship in jeopardy. So there was this unwritten rule that you just shouldn’t get into that situation at all. And then you go into real estate! I’m out here begging friends and family to do business with me! Ideally, I want to ONLY do business with friends and family! I don’t even like working with complete strangers. They don’t trust you or believe you. Sometimes neither do friends and family, but strangers really push it. My most recent transaction was the type that I absolutely love!

I met my client about 6 or 7 years ago when he joined our firm as a newly licensed agent. I do a lot of training for the firm, and back then I was training on the CRM system, how to use it, and how to get the most use out of it. I began running the house leads team and as a member of management then. He didn’t remain an agent for long. He eventually got a job that paid well and offered the benefits he needed for his new family. He let his license expire and walked away from a real estate career. About 2 or 3 years later I got a call to help him sell his current house and buy a new one. His second son was born during the course of that transaction. About a year ago I got a call that he experienced a huge shift again in his life and needed to buy another house. We couldn’t find what he wanted, but we kept in touch and, finally, we found the perfect neighborhood.

When I say the perfect neighborhood and not the perfect house, I really mean that. This house was far from perfect. There was so much rot on the siding it was best just to re-side the entire home. But we couldn’t get the seller to understand that. So we negotiated to repair the siding as required by the appraiser. This neighborhood was the real selling point. It is a place that I was personally familiar with and have friend living in. It has a giant pool and playground with kids riding bikes and playing everywhere. With two young boys, that is really what he was looking for. He knows that the house is going to need his work. He is very handy and will be able to take his time and redo a few things to really improve the home. But more importantly, he was able to get into a neighborhood that those 2 little boys can play and make life-time friends in. That is the work I do!

I think working with friends and family requires a few basic skills:

1. Honesty – Sometimes you just have to come out and say it. But that doesn’t mean that you have to be rude, or hurt someones feelings. You can have tough conversations by being honest yet kind. This is the communication part of my job. Being honest and specific without being an ass!
2. Respect – They are still the client, even if they are also your friend or family. We can’t take advantage of the relationship to serve some private goal. That goes for fees and commissions as well as information and time. I am not going to cut my commission to serve your purpose. I am going to work that much harder to earn that commission so you feel like it was money well spent!
3. Plan – We will sit down just like any other business transaction and come up with a plan, in writing, on paper. There will be no assumptions. No matter how well I know you or how much we have talked about it over the years, there will be a time that we dedicate to creating a real plan when you are serious about buying, selling or investing. I thrive on plans!

Sure, my work requires that I understand contracts, and know laws, and even have skills like negotiation and communication better than all those thousands of other agents you can throw a brick at in Charlotte. What I really do is FIND SOLUTIONS to HELP my friends and family. I’ll help whatever client comes my way, but I really prefer helping those I care about the most. It may not be the easiest transaction or the easiest conversation, but it is the easiest thing for me to do.