building • new construction • real estate • April 12, 2025

First Time Home Buyers

by southerngirlweb

There is a common misconception that FHA loans were created to service first time home buyers. Maybe original they were, but now anyone with a certain credit score can get an FHA loan , and since they are federally serviced, they usually have lower interest rates, though not by much, and much lower down payment requirements. BUT There are programs out there specifically designed to help first time home buyers in this market of higher rates and lower consumer confidence. Lenders are offering amazing products to pull buyers into the market! Here are a few tips and tricks to finding the best loan deal out there for your specific needs.

First and foremost, shop around! Home loan products are just like homes…there are plenty out there for you to choose from! You can choose to use a bank that you have a relationship with, a new bank, or a mortgage broker. Every single one of them will have different programs and qualifications. I always suggest my clients go to a bank and a broker to see what their options are. Brokers work with 20 or so lenders, so even 2 different brokers will have 40 different products. Banks have very specific programs for the clientele that they service so places like credit unions offer bonuses for members but all banks have programs privately funded to reach specific groups of people. I have built a business around relationships and I work really hard to stay up with the times by meeting with those people and talking shop so I can refer my clients to a lender that can meet their needs.

UNDER CONTRACT on this adorable home with my first time home buyers who have been able to secure over $70,000 in grant money to purchase! Their down payment in covered; their closing costs are covered; and a portion will go toward the principle to bring their payment down!

Have a list of options or requirements for the loan officer. What is important to you?

Downpayment – 0% – 20% The more you put down now the less you have to pay interest on over the course of the loan. But if you don’t have the cash there are ways to get mortgage with 0 – 3% down.

Interest Rate – The interest rate is set, but usually as just a starting point. Based on your credit score, the individual lender can make adjustments. One offer now from many lenders are called “buy-downs”, where the lender will buy down the interest rate for the first 1, 2, or 3 years of the loan. There are a huge assortment of these type of offers in the market so ask for them and then make sure you understand it!

Term of the Loan – Traditionally mortgages are 15 and 30 years, but there are some variations now. I recently saw a loan for 40 years that allowed for lower monthly payments. There are also ARM loans out now that are regaining popularity where they offer a lower interest rate for the first 5, 6, 7 years of the loan, but you must refinance before or take the market rate at the end of that term.

Grant Money – This is where it gets interesting and profitable! There are programs out there from the federal government, state government, local governemnts, and even private organization like banks and companys that offer sums of money to use as a gift towards the loan. For example, the state of NC has a $17,500 grant for borrowers that make 80% or less of the average median income and are first time home buyers. If a lender can add that to their own options, you can stack money on top of money to get $50 – $70,000 worth of grants applied to the loan. All of those programs have requirements and specifics such as a finacial literacy class or you have to stay in the home for 7 years so make sure you understand.

Here’s what to do:

Interview the lender! Ask for these options. Tell them what you’re looking for and see what they have to offer. Don’t just fill out the application first without having a conversation about what you want.
Ask for a soft pull! Allow them to go through your information and collect real hard numbers on what they can offer. This would mean filling out the application, but a soft pull doesn’t affect your credit score. If they ask you to pay for a credit report, that is likely not a soft pull.
Stay in touch! Continue to work with the lender on each individual property that you find when you become serious about making an offer. You would hate for the location or type of property to throw you out of any of that money you thought you were going to save.

New Construction isn’t happening so much from the big builders anymore. I am finding more new construction from small local builders with 3 or 4 units at a time. The quality is just as good, if not better, and the offerings are better since most big builders have gone to townhomes instead of single family homes.

A note about new construction…if you are building a home with a builder in a neighborhood or on your own land, STILL do all of these things. Yes, the builders in-house lender will offer a little money back to get your business (usually 4 or 5 thousand), but many lenders will match that or be able to use other programs to beat that. The builder may not choose to use any of those programs since they are already offering an incentive. And then you have a lender that is on your side and not the side of the builder, much like the agent sitting in that model home is employed by the builder and has no allegiance to you.

Your home is the biggest financial decision that you will make, no matter how many times in your life you will make it so it reserves the right to be complicated and researched and poured over. You should have to jump through hoops to borrow hundreds of thousands of dollars with just a signature promising to repay it. Loose lending laws are what caused the financial crash we saw in 2008. It should be hard to make that type of financial decision. BUT IT IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE! A young lady said to me recently, “I’ll never be able to buy a house.” That is not at all true! You can, but you must do the work, whether that means raising your credit score, or researching options available to your type of person, or looking for houses in a particular area or at a particular price point. It shouldn’t be easy! But it also should not be impossible!

building • new construction • real estate • Uncategorized • February 15, 2025

What are Buyers paying for Houses?

by southerngirlweb

I wish I had a dollar for every person that said something to me in the last 2 years to the effect of, “I’ll wait until the home prices come down”! I would always just roll my eyes and redirect, behind their back, of course. I knew then that there was no way housing prices would come down. To me, if housing prices go down, we’re in a recession because 08/09 is the only time that has happened and no one wants to do that again!

So I thought we should take a look at what Buyers are really paying for real estate in 2025. Here are some statistics:

The Charlotte area MLS, known as Canopy, recently released their annual report for 2024. This shows the percentage increase for the entire Charlotte area and then begins to break it down by counties. The average increase is usually around 4% – 6%. The cause of the huge increases in 21/22 were the extremely low inventory and high demand, in part created by the extremely low interest rates. Once the interest rates rose in 23/24 the growth slowed, but prices never went down. Why?

The short answer is “Charlotte”. This area is one of the fastest growing, most desirable cities in the nation. It may be the climate, the job market, or the economic opportunity, but whatever it is nothing in Charlotte is ever a bad investment. I tried to make this point a few years ago. If your interest rate is 7%, but the value of the home increases 4 -6% on average every year, you are still making money on your investment, not to mention the tax right off, home equity opportunities, personal happiness, and growth potential.

But the growth around Charlotte is not the same everywhere. Kannapolis, a town in Cabarrus county, has actually dropped in price, even with all the workthat town has down to revitalize the douwtown area. Also, the growth around Lake Norman and Huntersville were significantly smaller than other areas, potentially because those prices were already so high., but Cornelius saw double digit growth.

But I think the most important fact to consider in the chart above is the Median price for the area. In all of the training and learning that I have done for finance and budgeting, it boils down to two things, the money coming in and the money going out. If you can’t adjust one, then maybe you have to adjust the other. For example, if you can’t afford $417,893 for the median price in Charlotte, maybe you should consider an outside city like Concord at $389,185 or Gastonia at $295,000. These numbers can give a good idea of cost of living for those areas.

The hard truth is that the cost of living in the Charlotte area is high, but it is not as high as so many other places, like CA or Atlanta. The motivation to buy a home shouldn’t be price. A mortgage is just a fact of life. For every person that tells you success means living without debt, there are 2 more that will tell you that debt, especially mortgage debt, actually works in your favor because it creates wealth and net worth. The motivation to buy a house or vacation house or whatever should be just as long term and ambitious. It should be to accomplish a goal, to propel your financial net worth further, to create passive income, or to house the people you love. Charlotte is not a bad investment, no matter where or when.

Life • Planning • real estate • Uncategorized • January 12, 2025

My WHY…

by southerngirlweb

Every year we reflect on the previous year and plan for the next. I coach agents at my firm to start that in October! I heard a great discussion recently about not setting resolutions but setting intentions, for the year, for the month, and even at the beginning of every week. I liked that idea so I am going to try that this year and see how it resonates with my personal and professional goals. But in all the research and learning (and teaching) that I have done about growth and business planning, there is one lesson that is worth the time, the read, the review, and/or the patience. The very first exercise you should do this January, whether for your professional self or your personal self, is figuring out your WHY.

It all started with me a few years ago when I was introduced to the book Start With Why by Simon Sinek. I had been in real estate for a couple of years and was doing okay, but really wanted to take my business to the next level. I had absolutely NO idea of how to do that! I was not brought up in an entrepreneurial lifestyle where you were granted freedom to dream or try or do. I was raised that you went to school, went to college, got a job, and eventually you got to retire so you could do fun stuff. (Bullshit! I wanted to do fun stuff right now! Why do fun stuff when you’re too old to enjoy it!) And real estate was beginning to show me that was a possibility. I just didn’t know where to go next. What I found from reading this book was not a magic formula for making money (pst…there are none of those), or all of the answers to “How to Build a Real Estate Empire in 30 days” (also not real). What I found was a deeply personal journey that forced me to get honest about who I was, what made me happy, and what I wanted to do.

Probably my favorite exercise that I coach agents to do when they start business planning and beginning to think about their Why or read the book, is an exercise called 7 Layers Deep. I heard it in a workshop with Dean Graziosi, Who is another author to put on your nonfiction playlist. Here’s how it works…

Ask yourself WHY you do whatever thing it is you do. “Why Real Estate?”

Answer that questions honestly. “Because I need to make money.”

Then ask yourself WHY to that answer “WHY?”

Answer that question honestly. “Because I have to pay bills.”

7-Levels-Deep-Exercise Download

Continue that process for 7 LAYERS (the above being layers 1 and 2). By the time you get to the end you will have an answer that guides you in everything you do and every decision you make. For me it boiled down to my need to help people (and animals). So when I am making a decision about business or life or finances or anything really, I always start there… am I helping people?

When the Broker in Charge of my firm asked me to be Operations Director 2 years ago, I asked myself that question. The answer was yes. I would be helping other agents with their business. So it was easy for me to say yes to that opportunity.

I think your WHY can change over time. I think it is very important to revisit that exercise every now and then. I very much still want to help other people, but I am starting to want to help myself a little bit more. Maybe it’s my age. Or maybe it’s some Freudian reason because no one helps me. You know, that hierarchy of needs that have to be taken care of before you can take care of others. Wait, that’s Maslow. Anyway…

I am SUPER excited about 2025! Maybe because it is a great number (25 being 1/4 of the century). Or maybe it’s because I know what I want and I’m getting closer to figuring out how to get it! Either way, I hope that you can create a plan to get exactly what you want out of life, even if it takes another quarter of a century to do it. And if you need help creating that plan or want to bounce idea off of someone, you should reach out to me. Because, remember, I am here to HELP! Happy New Year!

building • new construction • real estate • September 14, 2024

It’s a New Market with New Rules

by southerngirlweb

Have you heard all the hoopla around the NAR lawsuits?? It created new rules and laws in real estate that the consumer needs to know. Here’s a breakdown of how the new rules have a direct effect on buyers and sellers in the current real estate market.

Buyers are required to be under a Buyer Agency Agreement prior to viewing a home. There are many ways that a good agent can guide you through this. Gone are the days of just opening a door as a favor to peak inside. Many buyers in the past don’t want to be locked into a contract with an agent that early in the process. Buyers will not be able to view homes without some type of contract. In many opinions, this type of rule prohibits listing agents from showing the home to potential buyers, except for during open houses. There must be a contract between a potential buyer and an agent prior to requesting a showing.
Sellers may negotiate realtor fees to pay a listing agent and offer a cooperating compensation if an agent bring a buyer. This rule is NOT new in NC. That has always been the law. It is new in many other states. Sellers have never been required to pay buyer agency compensation. Where we got into trouble was when some bad apples in the business would word this explanation a tiny bit inappropriately. By saying things like “the norm is” or “the average is”, these agents were misguiding their clients. There is not and has never been a “norm” when it comes to real estate fees.
The Buyer Agency Agreement in NC has always said…I will attempt to negotiate my fee (that we already agreed on) from the seller, but in the event that I can’t, the buyer is responsible to pay it at closing. That fee, like every other element of real estate, is negotiable. Real estate agents set their fees for service the same way a lawyer sets an hourly rate or a beautician sets their fees for services. I ask for 3% for existing homes and 4% for land and new construction (sometimes I wish I could charge an hourly rate). There are many ways to negotiate this into our offer. We can ask for seller paid concessions (sometimes known as closing costs). The buyer has to consider that in their offer since the seller is concerned about the net amount they will be paid. It may require increasing your offer to cover the concessions so the net amount is at listing. In that instance, you have to be very careful about appraisal value.
It is in the best interest of Sellers to continue offering Buyer Agency Cooperating Compensation especially for homes in the First Time Home Buyer price range. In many cases, those first time home buyers are stretched pretty thin with downpayment, closing costs, and inspection fees. Paying an agent is going to be tough. Many analysts are concerned that this is going to force people to try to do real estate transactions without the services of a licensed and trained agent. I always compare that to going to court without an attorney. You certainly can represent yourself, but you really shouldn’t! If FTHB begin buying real estate without an agent to help them, there are going to be a whole new set of lawsuits and problems and sellers could suffer.
Agents are no longer allowed to post to MLS the cooperating compensation offered. It now becomes an extra step of the Buyer Agent to find out that information. Some agents are planning to do this prior to showing, so the buyer can be aware early on if this particular home is one that fits into their budget. The problem is that listing agents are really hard to get on the phone sometimes, before this was ever the process. Now that every showing is going to call asking about Buyer agent compensation, they’ll never return calls! It is a step that will have to be done early so the buyer can make an informed decision about making an offer on the property and what that offer might look like with all factors on the table.

I have heard clatter that this will bring down the price of real estate. It will not! Real Estate prices are based on market sales, not realtor fees. As I mentioned earlier, it may even raise the price of the home because some buyers are going to roll it into their offer. I have even heard of some buyers suggesting that they can roll it into their loan amount. Who in the heck needs to pay 30 years of interest on real estate fees! I mean you are already paying j30 years of interest on the $10,000+ in loan fees the lender is charging you and burying in your closing. That is not a financial strategy that I would recommend, but I understand where it is coming from. We have simply shifted the burden from the seller reducing their profit to pay real estate fees, to the buyer increasing their payment to pay real estate fees (which is where the sellers money came from in the first place). This change to the market is no small hill to climb. It has already driven about 30,000 real estate agents out of the business. But not me! I have learned and trained and am training other agents on how to handle this for all of our clients! Maybe I just like a good challenge!

building • family • kids • Life • new construction • Planning • real estate • The Farm • Uncategorized • May 18, 2024

Building Things

by southerngirlweb

I absolutely love building things! What I have learned about myself in my last decade on Earth is that I truly enjoy figuring out how to do something myself. It brings me so much joy when I have an idea or plan and it works out! But what I’ve noticed the most is that my plan never works out exactly the way I plan it. There is always some variation that, inevitably, works out better. I have enjoyed learning the faith involved in that element of building. I have built a farm, a business, a family and a home. I have many plans to build many more things in my next decade. Building things takes a little knowledge, a bit of strategy, and a lot of faith.

My best example of building things, in real estate at least, is my current house. If you are not familiar, we built a new construction home on our existing farm. I had so many plans and ideas that didn’t work out! The biggest change that had to be made was in the location of the house. I wanted it placed in the woods on the other side of the creek. We built (and paid for) a culvert, an extra long drive way, and tons of gravel that gets absolutely no use today. But in the end, the house is perfect. We have a brand new home in a great location that gave us a ton of instant equity. I brought the knowledge of how to build the house using a contractor mainly from researching and working through a million different scenarios. We strategized the entire time, learning about land development, financing rules, and building issues. But the real magic came in the faith that it would turn out for the best. And it sure did!

A more recent example of building in real estate is the new construction project that my clients recently went under contract on. It is a gorgeous new house outside of Asheville. An independent builder bought this lot in a new neighborhood and designed and began construction on the home. We went under contract when it was at about 70% complete. This is a unique dynamic where the builder agent is NOT controlling the process of the build for my clients, the way a community home builder or track home builder would. In this case, a buyer agent, such as myself, has proved to be more important than ever! I am trying to help my clients understand what they can and cannot do, since the construction is nearly complete. We recently had an issue with granite. The buyers were able to pick granite, but they didn’t like the selections the builder gave them. As always, my philosophy of real estate is that there is always a solution, so that skill has proved invaluable in new construction!

Probably my most valuable thing that I built is this homestead! It may never be complete, either. But it is truly exactly what I wanted. My goal out here on the farm is to be a self sustaining as possible. I am no doomsday planner, but I grew up in a family that grew our own food and relied on family and friends to get things done. We have been able to create that out here, on a small scale, and I have tons of plans to continue that building…like solar panels on the barn, a deck and detached garage, and increasing the garden.

Building things is my biggest goal in life! I want to build more houses. But I also want to build family and business. I want to help other people build businesses. I want to build more houses for other people. I truly enjoy watching the process, even if I end up cussing the majority of the way through, like we did on our home! That’s the proof that I’m meant to build things. I have a small amount of knowledge and plan to really increase that, maybe even getting my own contractor license. I am great at creating a strategy in all the areas of building! And my faith in the process gets stronger and stronger every time I am proved wrong! I look forward to a long line of more things to build!

building • new construction • real estate • Uncategorized • March 15, 2024

Love the House…Date the Rate

by southerngirlweb

Have you heard this before??

In a market of high interest rates, this is one phrase that mortgage brokers are repeating everywhere. It sort of give’s me the heebie-jeebies. And I hadn’t really understood why until recently.

Mainly, by itself, this is just bad financial advice! It’s just like so many things…if you listen to it in a vaccuum or by itself, it isn’t a good move. So let me try to explain, from a non-financial person’s point of view.

The concept is that you can refinance your mortgage at any time. But there is so much more to consider when thinking of a refinance that, without an entire conversation, that advice becomes just a sales gimmick. And here’s why…

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The length of the loan. When you took out your mortgage, it is for a 30 year note. When you choose to refinance, it is for a 30 year note. The time does not get shorter! Lets say you bought in 2010 and refinanced in 2021 when rates were 3%. You jut added 11 years on to the amount of time that it will take you to pay off your home. If you were in your 40’s when you did the refi, you will now be in your 70’s when the home is paid off. For most of us that is past the time that we would like to retire, when we would like to work less and pay less bills. Even if you have ample retirement plans (and 75% of us don’t), for possibly 10 years of your retirement you are making a mortgage payment when it could have been paid off. People do this way too often. Instant gratification will not serve your needs in the long game. And LIFE is a long game. For many people this doesn’t seem like an issue because they will buy and sell every 10 or 11 years. But it really is! Unless you are paying more towards the principle of the loan, when you go to resell, the pay off amount has just been reconfigured for a much longer amount of time.

Lower Payments Are Deceiving. When you took out the original loan at $350K, the total you would have paid the bank in 30 years is $815K with principle and interest. The banks have to pay their people. They are not a non-profit. Even when you refinance, you are paying a huge amount over to the bank. In the example I used before, you are still paying the bank $474K (for a new 30 year term). You would have paid the bank $753K even with the refi. Do you think the same house will be worth that much more in 40 years? That depends! If the value of homes appreciates in that neighborhood at an average of 2% per year for 40 years, the homes value would be $772K. But if there’s a cooling period, or a financial crisis, or a fire, or a flood… It is a lot of variables to consider when thinking about getting your money’s worth on a refinance of your home. (And don’t even get me started on refinancing your car…do the same math and you will see the answer is NO!) This might sound confusing…I said I was not financial, not not smart. It helps me to write all the numbers down. Yes, like a high school algebra problem.

But there is a way to BEAT THE SYSTEM

Take a 15 year loan! If you are going to refinance and it has been at least 10 years since you first financed, ask about a 15 year mortgage! They even make a 20 and 25 now! Don’t just take the assumptive 30 year. Yes, the payments will be higher, but you will be paying significantly LESS in interest and more towards principle. It gives you more equity and the bank less money!

Buy Points on your Rate…maybe. Sometimes the lender will apply points without you asking to get your payment to where you can manage it with your debt-to-income ratio. It’s like paying a penalty to get your interest rate down. It doesn’t go toward anything else but a fee to the bank. It may be helpful, but it is not the best solution.

Pay More on Principle. This is always the best option. The more you can put down at the begining of a mortgage the less you pay mothly and in interest. Even in a refinance, that is a great time to pay more towards the principle.

The MOST important thing is that you love your home. I can tell you from experience that if you are in a place where the energy is off, the space isn’t working for your family, the neighborhood has you stiffled, or the commute is causing you too much anxiety (just to name a few reasons people move) than it is time to find a new home. You DO NOT have to wait for the perfect market conditions. There are tips and tricks out there

building • new construction • real estate • Uncategorized • March 15, 2024

What is Equity and How do I Get It?

by southerngirlweb

I think this is a hard concept for people to understand. I have had to explain it a few times to new home owners. The good news is that I have seen a few examples lately of instant equity when people are purchasing homes, which is great news when buyers feel like the interest rates are high. And just like any other market anomaly, this too shall pass. So if you are considering buying, here’s an idea of how this will help you! I wanted to crunch some numbers and show how this benefits buyers in this market.

Let me give you a couple of stories of what I have seen in the market.

One recent buyer in the Mint Hill, NC area purchased a home for $374,900. The appraisal came back at $395,000!

Another buyer recently went under contract on a property for $239, 500 in the Derita area of Charlotte, NC. That appraisal came in at an $11,000 increase for instant equity.

This is happening because of exactly what buyers were hoping for…prices are coming down! There has been so little movement in the market during the past winter months that sellers are dropping prices left and right. You want a deal (as everyone seems to), buy in January or February. The prices of the homes are adjusting, but the appraisals have not caught up. Appraisers generally look at sales for the last 3-6 months. If little inventory is moving, the appraiser only sees the inflated prices that existed when the market was busy. I also look at those same numbers when helping sellers determine a list price, but I use market conditions to guide my clients. Busier market = higher list price. Appraisals do not include market conditions or fluctuations.

But what does that mean for my buyers? It’s like they walk into ownership of that property with money saved in the bank. It is not money that they can actually use. It’s a sort of credit. It increased the value of the home, but they are still paying the mortgage at the list price they agreed to. A homeowner can borrow against the equity in the home through a Home Equity Line of Credit (HELOC) or Home Equity Loan. Obviously, it is a loan of some sort and monthly payments are required and there is a fee for borrowing in the interest rate, but it can help homeowners do repairs or make improvements.

For folks who have owned your home for 10 or more years (the average time that people choose to sell is 11 years) you probably have a considerable amount of money in equity in the home. I often advise clients to use that equity to improve their home before they sale. If possible, borrow against that equity to make necessary adjustment to the condition or style of the home to get the absolute highest market value out of your home. We can list it sometimes in a completely different market bracket. Obviously we will sit down and compare the cost of the renovation with the increase in the value of the house and how close those numbers may be before making that decision. If you have to pay $10K for the reno and you’re only going to increase the list price by $10K, like any other investment, it may not be worth the work and time for the renovation. At closing the HELOC will be paid by the attorney so, in some cases, you aren’t even making a payment or paying the interest.

I look at equity a lot like I look at net worth. It’s kinda like fake money. It’s not something that you have liquid in the bank. It requires a little bit of work to get the value out of something. You have to sell an asset to make it liquid. But I do think equity is a lot easier to use than other investments. I amy be a little bias, thought, since real estate is literally what I do!

Life • real estate • Uncategorized • January 20, 2024

I’m on a Mission

by southerngirlweb

For the last five years, I have been on a mission to create a charitable legacy from my real estate business with Giving Tree Realty and catering to cats and dogs. I have learned so much!

Number one, rescue is effing hard! It is hard, no matter at what level you participate. The people that volunteer , and stay with our rescue are some of the toughest, kindest, most endearing humans I have ever had the pleasure to meet on this planet! A lot of people like to judge the volunteers, and especially the management of a nonprofit, but I see it a lot like I see parenting. You have no idea, what they do or what they go through! So in my opinion, the only thing I can do is offer whatever support they ask for. I often reach out to our Director and say “what can I do for you?” To which she always replies already do so much. But literally, these animals would not survive if the volunteers and donators at catering to cats and dogs we’re not super committed to the work that we do.

Number two, I’ve learned that people don’t know how to help. Everyone says “oh that’s such a cool concept”, when I explain to them how Giving Tree works, but they don’t know what to do to help. So here’s how it works… for every home that I sell Giving Tree donates 1.5% of gross commission to the rescue in my name. The more homes that I buy and sell the more money the rescue makes! Last year I donated about $1500. This year I’m on a mission to raise $5000! I’ve gotten really close to that number in years past, and I believe this year is going to be really busy in real estate. But what if you don’t want to buy or sell a house, but you still want to help the rescue? Referrals. Referrals. Referrals. I will donate $25 for every referral that you send my way! Click the link above to register –or– click the links below to our social media. But help doesn’t stop there! Spread the word! Like, share, comment, and interact with my social media. Follow the rescue. Follow Giving Tree Realty. Social media, for all its faults, has a way of connecting people with like-minded ideas!

Number three, I’ve learned that I truly wouldn’t do this business. Any other way! Real estate is one of those things that you can be super successful at. I have seen the success and the failure. But I completely believe that your true fulfillment comes from Giving. I can handle all of the stress and anxiety that this industry brings a little easier when I know that I am saving furry lives like the ones below WHILE helping clients navigate the ever-changing market.

For some reason that I don’t understand, agents leave our firm all the time. I think in their mind they believe that they will continue the charitable legacy that they begin and Giving Tree Realty on their own (or they don’t care about the charity and didn’t belong there in the first place). I have seen firsthand how they become just the “agent”. Successful? Probably! Especially if they took any of our training classes to get there. Maybe they make a donation here and there. But it’s not always about the donation. It’s about posts like this that get the mission out not only for Giving Tree Realty but also for Catering to Cats and Dogs. It’s about the partnership that’s created between the business world and the nonprofit world. It’s about the partnership that’s created with the people involved in both institutions. And for me, it’s about doing something more that I could ever imagine!

Happy new year to everyone! I am looking forward to a successful and prosperous 2024!

Planning • real estate • Uncategorized • December 30, 2023

The Season of Giving Up

by southerngirlweb

Have you had a rough time? I don’t know if it’s just me. I don’t feel like it is. I’ve talked to a lot of people that are having an equally rough time. What I find is that every one has their own rough season, but we all have them. For some of us it lasts months, for some it lasts years, but all of us go through a period of time where the successes may be small or few and the defeats are giant or plentiful (we’ll get to the difference in a bit). Part of me would like to think this is like a COVID hang over. We tried to fix a national emergency by throwing money at it and now we are paying the price for that economically and socially. I think that even if the problems are not really economical in your life it has a trickle effect into the rest of our psyche that causes this time of utter frustration and disappointment. So I have chosen this as a time to regroup. And what better time than my favorite time of the year, Business Planning Season. This year I want to talk about a season of giving up!

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Let’s talk about the idea of giving up first. If you are not someone who has ever done this, maybe it will feel difficult at first, but I can guarantee it will be liberating. This is the act of simply walking away, changing direction, putting it out of your mind, setting it down, moving on, finding a different thing. Whatever it is you choose to give up on, there are no hard feelings, no regrets, and no disappointment. It is a conscious decisions based on some serious, deep inner-work. You make an educated decision to do something else.

Spend some time considering what you should give up on. Look at the things in your life that you really want. If you make a Life List or a Dream Board or whatever you call it, what is up there that you are working hard to achieve and it just isn’t happening? Is there one thing in particular that you have strived for and met with serious pushback or failure? Is there something that you are gaining no traction towards accomplishing, even though you have made some true and honest attempts. I could take 5 blog posts helping you figure out what items to give up on, and maybe one day I will, but for now I’ll give you the abbreviated version. Look for the following 5 categories: 1)Stressful. 2)Impossible. 3)Improbable. 4)Infinite. 5)Unimportant.

This exercise takes a lot of honesty and deep diving into your heart and soul. That’s why it is called inner-work (if you’re not familiar, read this book by an amazing couple). What I’ve noticed is that when we meet with adversity, we tend to focus on fixing the outside issues, like a new job or a new lover, but we avoid fixing the inner issues. It’s kind of like when you have a cold. Do you take medicine to fix the symptoms, or do you focus on fighting the germ? Often, we spend all of our energy on the symptoms and little attention goes to the cause.

STRESSFUL: Is there something out there that you have been trying for maybe even years to do and it just isn’t happening?

This is where my situation came from. I had been trying, hoping, praying, working, for one particular thing in our family for 5 or 6 years and it happened! But then it was ripped away. I’ve gone through the why’s and who’s and such and it’s exhausting! One day I woke up and said “I give up”! What I was beginning to notice is that one desire that I had in my heart was not shared by my husband or any other member of my family, or likely even my friend group. And it didn’t really align with all of my other goals. I was truly alone in this desire and that had created so much stress in my life that it was doing more harm than good. It was as if God gave me a glance at the life I would have if he granted that prayer so I could understand how it wasn’t going to be what I had hoped it would be. The stress that it had already created in my life from trying and suffering alone was enough. Giving up on this one thing would do me way more good than ever achieving it. Most of us are not alone in our life, so when we are working towards a particular goal, if those that we do life with are working towards a different one, it becomes like tectonic plates. The friction in our relationships may be building. There may be a collision or a separation that can be catastrophic from just that one issue. That additional stress doesn’t disappear with the satisfaction you will get if you achieve that goal. It would be better in the long run to just GIVE UP!

2. IMPOSSIBLE: Is there something on your Life List that will require a complete restructure of elements that you truly enjoy?

I believe there are people out there that can achieve their goals with hard work. I am firm believer in hard work. I almost think that is about the only thing I do well! And maybe natural talent isn’t as important for some as it is for others. But if you have zero access to the talent required to achieve your goal or the hard work required doesn’t allow for you to achieve other goals, then call it out for what it is and move on! Here’s an example…I wanted to be a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader my whole chidlhood. I even had the jacket. And though I was a talented dancer and performer, there was no way I was moving to Dallas. I cheered for the Charlotte Rage for a year, tried out for the Honeybees, and decided I had other, more important goals to accomplish.

3. IMPROBABLE: Is there a goal you set that, based on who you are at your core, just isn’t going to happen?

Again, you have to understand who you are to see which goals are going to work. If you are a giver and your goal requires you to be selfish or take, you will spend time spinning your wheels to get to the realization you cannot achieve that goal. Who you are at your core is what all of your goals should be filtered through. There is an exercise in Start with Why by Simon Sinek that I call 7 Layers. I coach it to all of the agents that come to our firm. You begin by writing down the answer to Why? Why do you do that thing? Why do you want that goal? Then you read that answer and ask yourself, But Why? You do that 7 times. By the end you can get to the core of a true why. If your Life List is full of things that do not go along with who you truly are on the inside, then you should GIVE UP on them and start over!

4. INFINITE: Do any of your goals, based on your current location, look like they are further than 10 years down the road?

Let’s talk definitions for a minute. A Life List is a list of things that you want to achieve in your life time. The items on there may take you 30 years to accomplish. That’s fine! But your Goals should not. We use the term BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal). Your BHAG can be something truly wild that would be amazing if you accomplished that in 1, 5, or 10 years. When your goal is too far out, it is very difficult to create measurable steps to get to those goals. Let’s say your goal is to have 5 rental properties in 5 years. That is easy to walk backwards. One property per year means you need to save X amount in year one, make X amount of profit in year 2, etc. We can measure how we get there. If there is a goal in your mind or on your plan that is not measurable or doable in 10 years, rethink the way you are planning to get there. GIVE UP on the current plan and chart a new one with measurable, systematic, achievable steps.

5. UNIMPORTANT: Does anything you’ve been telling yourself that you want to do just not jive with your personality or the rest of your goals?

Here we are, back at this idea of having to truly know yourself to be able to plot a course to achieve goals. If you do not know what drives your or creates happiness in your life or what motivates you from the inside out, then you cannot create goals that are achievable. If you have a goal written down that doesn’t flow from your inner self and true personality you are never going to achieve it. You can spend years trying, but it will not come easy if it ever even comes. Think of having a goal to be a veterinarian, but hating animals. I have met attorneys and doctors that don’t like people, but they don’t ever seem happy or truly fulfilled in their life. When something is important to you, you will carve out time and a path. “Where our focus goes, results follow.” It is so much easier to focus on the things that are important to us at our core. If the goal you are working towards is not worth it, just GIVE UP!

There is a stigma, especially in this self-help world, that giving up is bad. You need to push through, work harder, struggle, be tough. But there comes a point in your life where that struggle is no longer serving you physically, emotionally, or consciously. You are doing everything humanly possible to get there, and this is the key, but it just isn’t getting any closer to being realized. I say this is the key, because you cannot make that decision until you truly acknowledge if you are doing everything within your personal power.

Pick a topic. What have you done this week to get to that goal? What could you have done? What is stopping you?

It isn’t about blaming it on other people. Your goals in life can’t be based on what other people do. I have learned this one the hard way this year. Not even your significant other or family or partner. If you have a goal for yourself that depends on someone else having that same goal or taking some kind of action, you better have had a long, honest, constant conversation with them about how dedicated they are to their side of that goal before you go putting your precious time and energy into striving for it. We cannot control what another human does. No matter who they are. If their goals change and we don’t know it, we will waste or precious resources striving for a goal that is unattainable. And that type of goal is one worth giving up on!

Life • Planning • real estate • The Farm • Uncategorized • July 16, 2023

Drop Back and Punt

by southerngirlweb

WELCOME to the 2nd half!

Yep, we are half way through the year. Do you remember all those plans and goals that you had for 2023? How’s it going?? I think this is a great time to re-evaluate where you are, what your doing, and where you want the year to end up. I’ve put together a little plan for myself to evaluate just that and decided to share it here, along with some of my own answers.

Step 1: REVIEW

If you are like me the last 6 months have been pretty hectic. I think everyone’s life is hectic. I don’t care if you have a farm full of animals and a house full of people like me or not. Your life is likely just as busy. Maybe you put all of your time and energy into your work. Or maybe your extended family takes up all of your time. Either way, you have many things pulling you in different directions and the 3 goals you made for your 4 Categories 6 or 7 months ago are probably really hard to remember! That is why we wrote them down! So go back to your Life Planner, Daily Journal, whatever it is called, and look them up. What were you hoping to accomplish this year?

When I review my goals I am actually surprised. I thought I was way off on everything because the year has NOT gone for me as I expected. But in actuality, it’s really just one category that is way off track. The other 3 categories have been fairly successful for a mid-year check. Take some time to read back through what you wrote down and committed to as a goal for this year. You should have written a reason or importance to the goal. Review that too! Is that still true today, half way through the year?

Step 2: REFLECT

This is the point in the process that you have to dig in a little deep to find out why. Sometimes it’s not easy to answer. Sometimes the honest answer is an inside force and sometimes it is an outside force. The big thing is to be HONEST. Try NOT to blame only outside forces. Be sure to identify the things that you have the power to change. I think during COVID, we all learned the difference between the things we had the power to control and the things we did not. I couldn’t control the shut-downs and school closings, but I could control what I personally did every day.

In my Career goal, I am no where close to the number of closing and home sales that I want for this year. I’m only on track for about a third of that goal. Yes, a large portion of that could be attributed to the market slow downs, inflation and interest rates. All of those things are true! But what, in all honesty, could I have done differently to increase my business and work flow? If I am completely honest with myself I did not make the new connections in the community I wanted. I did not stay on top of social media posts and marketing plans like I had intended. If I’m completely honest, I didn’t even really make solid plans to get me there. So now I know there is plenty of work to do the rest of the year!

Step 3: ADJUST

Logistically, do you want to adjust the actual business plan? I think this is a great idea! Let’s make some edits and changes to the plan. Maybe the goal doesn’t change, but the steps to get to that goal do. Or the mode that we use to acheive that goal changes. Take a look at the goals you have set for the year. Do they still align with you? Is there an adjustment that needs to be made based on the last 6 months?

Just like at the begining of the year, you have got to write them down! You have got to communicate them to the universe (and maybe your significant other). You have to make it known that this is what you want to do so someone can help hold you accountable or celebrate your success or send potential help your way. Without the communication part of setting goals you are doing all of this on your own, and that is just not really possible. I am surrounded by an army of strong women, and that is why we are an army, because we need each other to make things happen.

Step 4: DESIGN

Take a look at the goals you have for the rest of the year and work backwards in your head to design a plan that will get you and keep you on the right path to achieve those goals! Here’s an example.

GOAL: I want to close 2 deals a month. (How many contracts do I need to write?)

Write 4 contracts per month. (How many meetings do I need to schedule?)

Schedule 2 live meetings per week. (How many phone calls do I need to make?)

Connect with 2 people (clients/prospects) per day.

The point is that sometimes we have to take a step back and see where we have made progress and where we haven’t. We have to be honest about our expectations as well as our limitations. Self-reflection is the key to improving, no matter what is being improved. Looking at what obstacles we faced this first half of the year is important to growing and learning and improving. Placing blame will get us nowhere but in the failure circle (I failed – I feel horrible – I don’t want to do it anymore – etc).

I want to share some of the tools with you that help me plan my business.

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